An Open (Video) Letter to Games Workshop

Another win for the Losers..

This week HAS REALLY been a busy week for The Losers.  This week, they went 1 - 1 against the current and most borked codex in the game to date:  The Grey Knights.  I'm considering this blog to be a double feature since the first game really isn't worth a whole blog post.  In fact, I can give you the quick version.

GK player (after seeing my IG):  Wanna play?
Me: Sure. 2000pts?
GK: Cool!
Me: Just so you know I'm testing a tournament list. In tournament fashion, would you like to see my list?
GK: No
Me: *blink* Ooookaay... It's pretty mean..
GK:  Dude.. it's IG...
Me:  *shrugs*

Rolls: Pitched battle/Annihilation - IG Win first turn (Me: YAY)

Me: *Deploy*
GK:  Bullshit!  There's no way you have that many 'planes'.
Me: Sure I do.. I offered you my list.  Your deployment BTW.
GK: *Deploys*  ...and now I scout move w/ my dreadknight by teleporting..
Me: *thinking: not sure you can do that but, oh well*
GK: Ok.. Top of Turn 1 *rubs hands*

Turn 1

Movement - Top o' Turn 1

Me: *moves troops toward GK's*
GK: Why are  you moving your troops TOWARDS the GK's?
Me:  *shrugs* You'll see (we never did)

Shooting - Top o' Turn 1

Stormraven - Destroyed by 6 TL Lascannons
Dreadknight - Destroyed by 6 TL Lascannons
Ven. Dreadnaught? - Stunned by 6 TL Lascannons
5 Regular GK troops - killed by Manticore fire
((At this time, GK player's face is beet red))

Assault - Top o' Turn 1

- None-

Movement - Bottom o' Turn 1

GK's move into buildings and behind cover in the direction opposite of the incoming guardsman.

Shooting - Bottom o' Turn 1

GK's go pew pew..  about 10 guardsman die.  All leadership saved due to fearless and Lord Commissar's Aura of Discipline

Assault - Bottom o' Turn 1

Just outside of Assault range... GK player looked like he was going to attempt and assault on me.  I took a defensive stance.

TURN 2


Movement - Top o' Turn 2

Troops continue to rush forward while the Vendetta's do the 6" shuffle.

Shooting phase - Top o' Turn 2

Dreadnought - Destroyed by 6 TL Lascannons.

GK Player (with tears in his eyes):  F*CK THIS!!! *Quickly throws all this GK's into the box he brought them in... none-to-gently, I might add, and RUNS out the store*

Me: *Blink*  Did I just pimp GK's?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know.. this totally merits it's own post..


Result:  Grey Knights concede at the top of turn 2.  Losers win again.  Penal Legionnaires are rationed 1 beer each.

Lesson of the match:  Dreadknights CANNOT use teleport in their scout move.

LWBG gets a job... a paint job that is. (Long post w/ Pics)

As you've heard me mention before, I"m seriously considering tournament play.  Getting the stuff necessary for doing so was easy.  I'm just a couple of vendetta kits and model purchases away from having a complete WYSIWYG army for which I'm very excited.  The only downside of trying to create a tournament compatible army is.... Dun dun DUUUN... painting all these models.

Don't get me wrong, I love this game, I like seeing other people's work, but dammit.... why can't I call my guys the "Gallant Greys" and play?

"But CommissarWes, painting your models is the true joy of this hobby!!"

That may be true but, you'll understand how I feel after reading my model painting resume:

• Name: CommissarWes
• Years playing W40K: 1
• Model Painting Experience: A few infantry models and primer
• Artistic Skill Level: Laughable
• Artistic Skill Comparison:  An ork boy with a 2x4 smearing blood on a wall.

WAAAAAaaaaaauuuuughhhttttt???? LosersWBG Vs Waaugh Box o' Dakka

Victory!!  (omgwtfbbq)

So I got to play test my new tournament IG list.  My roommate and I went to our local gaming store where I spent a couple hours finishing up my models meanwhile keeping them out for display.

My friend, a Chaos/Necron/Dark Eldar/Dark Angel player who has stomped me into the ground REPEATEDLY refused to play me and quickly accepted another challenge against a tyranid player; all the while commenting on how my new setup just made him nervous.  A Grey Knights player came out to play but had already scheduled a challenge against the Blood Angel / Tau duo from my previous game report.  So it was down to my roommate and I playing against each other.

My Army List was as follows:

HQ - Company Command Squad (Col. Straken, Master of Ordinance, Astropath, 2x Bodyguards, Officer of the Fleet)  w/ 3x Meltas


Elites - 1 3-man squad of Ratlings and 1 4-man squad of Ratlings


Troops - 4x squads of Penal Legion troops


Fast - 6 Vendettas  (3 squads of 2 each)


Heavy - 3x Manticores

Ork Waaugh Box o' Dakka consisted of:

HQ: - 2 Big Meks w/ Kustom Force Fields


Elites - 3 Tank Busta Squads


Troops - 6 Shoota Boyz Squads in Trukkz


Heavy - 2 Looted Wagons

So we settled on being lazy and picked Pitched Battle / Annihilation as our deployment and mission and set up.  Amazingly, I won the "who-goes-first" roll (haven't done it in a while) so I decided to seize the opportunity setting up my Penal Legions in a way to prevent the onslaught of the green tide on my Manticores.    Aware that my opponent was using 2 squads of orks with rokkits who have devastated my armor in the past, I kept the Vendettas in reserve for deep striking.  My Ratlings infiltrated into a buildings slightly ahead of my  other troops due to terrain settup.

Turn 1:  

My Penal Legionnaires trudged forward to do what they do best:  DIE and/or hold up as many Ork units as they can while my Manticores lit up his trucks.  Artillery fire from the Manticores wrecked both the trucks carrying his Big Meks with kustom force fields.  The Ratlings took some pot shots at the Orks with rokkits peering through windows killing one or two.

The Orks answered back with by laying down a wall of angry and hate in the form of dakka and rokkits reducing 3 of my 4 squads to 3, 2, and 2 of which, the squad with 2 remaining Legionnaires turned tail and ran.One of the rokkits squad picked off a ratling but who did NOT run (with their leadership of 6)

Turn 2:

The Vendetta reinforcements dropped in from orbit taking positions on key points on the field as Straken quickly organized the fleeing troops with the "Get back in the Fight" order while the Command Squad took the lead in the charge.  The Vendettas rained buckets of the Emperor's fury with their twin-linked lascannons as they took out another Trukk and the two Looted wagons. The Manticores didn't do TOO much this round. Just took out a Mek Boy and his entourage...... no biggie... really.  The others scattered all over the place. The Ratlings picked off another rokkit ork but couldn't find themselves do enough damage.

One squad of Rokkit Boyz tried to get themselves some more Ratling meat but failed.  Another squad shot down a Vendetta while the remaining advancing Orks finally found themselves in range to do what they do best: SMASHIN'.  And that they did.  Come the assault, a Big Mek got overly excited and spiked a Vendetta into the ground a little too hard making it explode and causing casualties in 3 squads surrounding it.

Turn 3:

Straken and crew along with the remaining 2 members of a severely broken Penal Legion squad maneuvered into position to take on whatever spilled out of a Trukk when it was popped.  My other squad with 2 remaining PL knife fighters moved in to go head-to-head with a Nob and his one boy entourage.  With nothing left to pop except two more Trukks, the Vendettas did just that.  The Manticores brought some serious pain as they evaporated 2 entire squads of Rokkit boyz.

At this point, Waaugh Box o' Dakka quit the field.

Winners: The Losers...er... The Losers were the Winners...  Whatever.

Lesson(s) learned from this game: 

Don't deep strike the Vendettas.  A lot of pain was spared because they were in reserve in the first turn.

How to properly perform an ordinance barrage.

LoserWBG Record since start of blog:  1 - 1

The Losers Get Even More Big Guns

Despite the Losers' record, I've actually gotten pretty serious about possibly getting into some sanctioned tournaments, y'know.. for kicks.  (I mean, how else are you going announce how horrible your army loses to the world?  Write a blog on the internet, or something?)

So I talked to some players and a game shop owner or two to find out what I should expect to see when I go to a tournament.  The answer was the same all around:

Space Wolves... Grey Knights.... Space Wolves... Grey Knights... Grey Wolves... Space Knights.... wait, what?

Anyhow, everyone I talked to about playing IG in a sanctioned tournament told me not even to bother because the chance of me getting anywhere was about slim to none.

So I sat down, worked and reworked a list that would be competitive, and made a good amount of purchases on Ebay which included 4 Valkyries (in addition to the 2 I already had), some Forgeworld kits to convert my Valkyries into Vendettas, bits to convert one of my Chimeras into a Manticore, and a few other purchases.  Within a couple few days the first of my purchases arrived and things were looking up.  I quickly put together my new Valkyries minus the ForgeWorld parts (which haven't arrived yet) and headed off to play test my 2000pt tournament list.  *fingers crossed*

BLACK RAGE!!!! For the greater good!

For the first time in a LONG time, I played against an army I was unfamiliar with as an opponent: The Tau.  Despite all the trash talk and negative comments I hear about them, I have to tip my hat off to them.  They're pretty devastating at ranged, which out-ranged my IG.

It was a 2v2 game that was destined to be dragged out.  Mechanized Blood Angels and Tau vs. Assault Blood Angels and the 757th.

The list I was playing was an idea I got from the DakkaDakka forums that made a lot of sense as well as explained a lot of functions that I don't (or forget to) utilize in my usual play so I was pretty excited to give it a go.  It was a first, but I actually felt like I had a really good clue as to what I needed to do.

The List: 

HQ 

Company Command Squad x 2 Meltas
- Colonel Straken
- 2.x Bodyguards
- Astropath
- Officer of the Fleet
- (Not so) Master of Ordinance 

Elite
2 x 5-man Storm Trooper Squads
- 2 x Meltas
Guardsman Marbo 

Troops
3 x Veteran Squads
- Lascannon heavy weapon team
1 x Infantry Platoon
Command Squad x 2 meltas
- Captain Al'rahim (sp?)
- 2 Infantry Squads x 1 meltas 

Heavy
3 x Leman Russ Battle Tanks w/ H. Flamer Sponsons

This list itself isn't exactly my cup of tea being that I'm a firm believer that IG should abuse tanks and artillery, but why not try something different for a change, right?  The game was an objectives mission.

The mission was doomed from the start. "Team Drink Blood - From Across the Map" won the first turn and immediately began picking off the heavy's. The first shots of the game from the Tau wrecked, immobilized, and destroyed the main cannon off my 3 Leman Russ' in THAT order leaving me with a mobile las-flamer tank and a stationary turret with no real FOV to anything on the field as I was trying to avoid this very thing by hiding them behind buildings since we lost the first move.   Unfortunately, I had no previous briefing ahead of time to have any clue exactly how pimp Tau Railguns really were.  (I shall not underestimate them again.)  Following this was a hail of sniper fire using a marker light / sniper combo which promptly wiped an entire veteran squad off an objective from out of cover.

Because of this amazing start from "Team Edward - Keep Your Distance", the 757th Catachans didn't have much of a response to the opening onslaught.  The two remaining HWTs stunned 2 Autocannon Predators and the immobilized Leman Russ took a potshot at a Tau Hammerhead missing due to the 4+ cover from their holo-field (or whatever it's called).  My teammate's Blood Angels trudged forward to begin their long and boring close combat session that is Space Marines v. Space Marines. (I'm pretty sure it's like the duel scene in a movie rendition of Shakespeare's Hamlet I saw in high school.... with more chainsaw sound effects.  RRRrrr Donk!!! DONK-Donk.. RRRRrrr DONK!!................ow?) With that, my partner was pretty much out of the game except to roll dice and pull men off the board.

While my veterans were getting picked off due to being out ranged and my tanks were getting finished off, Marbo showed up with a dud demopack and killed one of 12 Tau Crisis suits by smacking him in the head with it, meanwhile my infantry platoon with Al'rahim was off smoking pot and decided they weren't needed until the bottom of turn 4 despite the beck and call of the Master of the Fleet.  My storm trooper squads did their job, for which I'm proud.  From deep-strike, they immobilized the Blood Angel Vindicator and popped one of the Predators before immediately getting reduced to red paste.

From then on, it was a blood bath.

Lesson of the game: From now on.. Manticores, Manticores, Manticores..... unless I'm playing my IG Air Force.


Record (since blog start): 0 - 1

Getting started.... Again

Welcome to the record keeping blog of the 757th Catachans - L.W.B.G.  I have absolutely no idea why the hell I'm doing this except for.... well, why not?

The reason I've named them Losers With Big Guns (L.W.B.G.) is 2 part actually.  The first is mostly due to their "backstory" that I'm going to spare the details until maybe another time.  The second is.... their record up until now completely sucks.  But I have to admit, that's 50% my fault what with forgetting orders, not using units to their full potential, not using the internet for better info, and playing to have fun and enjoy the game.

"Wait... Did you say play to have fun???  With that attitude.. YOU DESERVE TO LOSE!!!"

*nods* Probably so.   And considering the fact that my friends (who I play 98%) of my games with play Assault Blood Angels, shooty Orks (he makes it work with lots of trukks with that damned opened-top rule), and a buddy whose red-maging I could write volumes about, my losing streak is pretty impressive.

Hence, Losers With Big Guns.

And while some would probably say I should sell my army, slit my wrists, and die a slow death for being completely fail with a potentially awesome army, I'm not.  I'm going to stick it out through every grueling battle until I figure out how to get them winning for a change.  Maybe I should make all my troops look like Charlie Sheen. *shrugs*